General Ramblings

 Hi London, heres my latest offering...


So, todays life lessons learned...

Never, no matter what they say, believe men

Never, no matter what they say, trust men

Never, no matter what they say, understand men

And never, never ever, no matter the Weather Girls say, will it rain men

My current disdain at all things testosterone based stems from just having spent a most enjoyable weekend with a very dashing suitor.  After being swept off my (muchly coveted) newly purchased size 4's last weekend and well and truly texted throughout the week, off I headed to The City for our much anticipated Date No 3 (spending last Sunday on a draughty railway platform after a rather unfortunate train delay was classed as Date No 2 apparently). Anxious wait at Tesco - do I actually remember what he looks like? - followed by flood of relief as he pulls up beside me - phew, yes I do and hip hip hooray, he's still cute. A curious cavalcade of Clios (his new and sporty, mine old and sporting bird poop) to his lovely house in the burbs where I was given the 2 minute tour...impeccably clean, imaginatively decorated and instantly welcoming. Glass of wine and a snog on the couch, isn't this what Saturday afternoons were made for?

Impressively we made it through the next few hours and a Chinese Takeaway before the inevitable happened...

bbbbb

uh, oh

bbbbboooooo

oh no... 

BBBBBOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!

noooooooooooooo....... 

Its them, they've found me again, its those feckin Karma Feckers!

Got me good and proper this time, I'd been well and truly had

The death blow, 2 seconds, 7 words

"I'm nae really looking for a relationship..."

Neither of us quite know how we stumbled across this particular conversation but Honest, your Honour, I didn't start it!

Knowing that he had split up from his current (3 month) squeeze the night before we met it was not a huge surprise but a blind-sider all the same.

But wait, it's ok, we've been here before most recently, of course with CM so are somewhat slightly prepared. 

All this "relationship" talk keeps coming about all too early, who knows what the next few months bring? Yes I like you, yes, I fancy you and yes, I laugh with you but "relationship"?

woah woah...

are you a noisy eater? (no)

are you a snorer? (no)

have you got nice footwear? (yes)

then ok, its a consideration but not now, not on the third date.  But there it is, the elephant in the room. The one big humungous thing that is there, looming in the corner, brooding, watching, listening, censoring everything you say, with the fear that anything you do say may be taken down and used as evidence against you.

Awwkkward...

Right, contingency plan now comes into action, like the good Girl Guide that I was, I prepared one earlier yesterday with N, just in case of course, it all goes pear shaped I'm to meet her in the wine aisle of Asda at 9.55pm. Excellent. Actions stations...

Oh fuck, I'm in The City...

So I stayed.  

And we laughed, and we drank, and we spoke.

And had a really good time.

So, to Sunday, and a pretty awkward good bye with me acting as nonchalent as a blind man dodging bollards.

The drive home from hell ensued during which I passed through all four seasons due to the weather conditions, yes even snow, then home.

Home.

My house, my safety, my sanctuary, well actually my building site as the decorators are in, but my one place I can let it all go and just be me.

So I climbed round the stepladder, over the paint pots and under the dust sheets, curled up on the couch and waited. The rushes had started in the car but I managed to hold on to them til I got in the house. Waves of nausea, flashes of anger, pangs of regret, all crashing and colliding, fighting against each other. Let them fight it out between themselves for a wee while, let them have their fun, they know whats coming. As do I though. Ha, thought you could just creep up on me did you? Well no Siree Mr Jim-Bob-Biggidy-D, I've got you covered. Done my training you see, served 14 years in the old Depression Academy and I'm now officially a lean mean fighting machine. Ready for battle when I get the command. So now I'm in place, buried in the trenches ready for assault. Best tactics gleamed from previous onslaughts...wine out, head down, and BRACE YOURSELF! We're going under. No folk (apart from the wifie on the early shift at the 24 hour garage when you head out for fags), no phones and definitely no facebook. No communication in any shape or form which may remind you of how worthless and what a waste you actually are.

Have to just ride it out on our own..........................................................

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And...breathe............................................

eyes open, you're back in the room...

nooooooooooooo

Yep, have to

noooooooo, wee bit longer

Nope, now

whyyyy????

Its been 41 hours

and?

Work

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Suck it up bitch, thats life

oh fuck, better survey the debris...

empty wine bottles...several
empty fag packets...several
empty promises...several

oh well, its official, normal service has been resumed

buckle up and hold on tight, we're back on the rollercoaster...


Looking forward to seeing you soon London

H x